Category Archives: Just another person

Me.

Subway people

Teetering over on one sitting bone I glance up from my book for the station’s name to see baseball cap, beanie, and bed heads; cellphone, iPod, crossword handlers; lipsticked, bearded, and braced faces; eyes that are sleeping, alert, glazed, spectacled;  baby backpack and Longchamp holders; briefcase, hockey stick and guitar carriers… and realize I know nothing of each story but that.

SUBWAY

(The picture doesn’t correspond perfectly with what I’ve written, but it was a pretty little design, so enjoy.)

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Birthday gift indecisiveness: 5 reasons to be a cell phone cynic

With my birthday here, many friends have been asking me about whether I will finally get a cellphone. While I have been wishing to step down from my position of only high schooler without a cell phone in my school, it is true that I have been able to survive quite well without one (excepting the times I have said “Friend, may I borrow your phone?”).

I’m not going to preach about the health hazards of texting while driving, the harmful waves in the air that can go through your brain, or the decrease of memory power because we hear enough of that. But what I will say is I’m not sure how much influence I want a pocket device to have in my life. So without further ado, here are my five reasons to be a cell phone cynic:

1. Talk through the screen, the face don’t care

This is one of my biggest pet peeves because when you’re at a dinner, or movie, or just hanging out, there’s no point if members of the party are just going to keep their eyes glued to their screens. It’s funny that people get so preoccupied with social media and updates to connect with others when there are real people around to share a real, live conversation. I just don’t want to lose my people skills as I can be awkward enough as it is.

2. I’d rather stare at a book

Like I said, people spend quite a bit of time on their phones, checking for updates and texts, surfing the web, etc. If we add up the minutes spent on our phones every day, well, let’s just say there are many other things I can do with that time .

3. It’s not about the phone, it’s the plan

What some of my friends forget is that it’s not the Blackberry, iPhone, or Samsung Galaxy that concerns my budget, it’s the expensive monthly payments to receive services worth a decent, functioning phone (not to mention crazy contracts). Even very basic plans aren’t that cheap, they would not satisfy the full potential of a device, and if you cross a limit, watch out.

4. Better not lose it

It is another thing to keep track of, and I’m not sure that’s the best for expert on misplacing prized possessions here.

5. My wallet and iPod might feel neglected

I’m serious, they are the two things I keep on me at all times as they are basically a part of my identity. Even more so would be a phone, just take a look at this post from Pinterest:

Cell phone

Clearly with a cell phone you get used to some easy conveniences that become indispensable – you can get pretty personally attached.

In the end, I suppose it is everything in moderation. In these fast-paced times, a cellular phone is very handy to keep you on track as long you don’t get addicted to it. And you can get cool cases like this:

 

Guess I have to see how I will react and adapt if I do join the mobile device club.

On another completely off track-note, today also happens to be the day of my annual ballet exam, so wish me luck!

Thanks for reading,
-thebookybunhead

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Puppies and a sunflower

for blog- puppies ink sketch. 2011-12
Ink sketch from early 2012. I miss art class.

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Angst: What future?

Have you ever reflected upon life and become panicked or overwhelmed with emotion? Okay, maybe that’s just me, but on a sick day there isn’t much you can do other than think. So I do, only to find that the meditative practice reveals to me the enormous scope of things unknown or out of my control and successfully leaves me feeling mentally paralyzed, or just utterly confused.

In the last years of high school, all thoughts seem to drift towards the future that is both exciting and terrifying. It will be a new adventure with new experiences, but I don’t know even the remotest direction I will be taking on this journey. Course selections must be handed in and career planning has started with lists of potential professional companies – so many options and yet it still feels like limited opportunities because you can’t have it all. Preparations are due and the most difficult choices are deciding between what is smart, what you need, and what you want. All these questions offer no easy answers and all I can do is shut my eyes in hoping the future stalls for a while longer and say, “I don’t know.”

angst
Of course I would love to pursue dance directly from graduation, but at current times we have learned how probable that perfect situation is. When asked what company I would be interested in, I can’t help but think, “It’s not about the companies I want, it’s about what companies want me.” And in truth, that’s pretty much how auditions work. But you still have to plan what programs to take to target certain companies and it’s hard when you simply don’t know, yet.

The future for dancers I think is a particularly scary thought because:
a. Shorter preparation time (once you graduate, it’s off to job searching you go!) and b. Requires 100% health, more or less (injuries, mental and physical stresses can upset your career quite easily). For this a Plan B is required. And this is where academic choices join the chaos brewing in my mind.

Being in a non-conventional school makes planning for university a bit different. Because there are only 20 students in every grade, scheduling desired electives can be very tough. And often I feel so out of par when hearing of other high-schoolers’ achievements in extracurricular clubs, overflowing numbers of credits and volunteer hours, and highly articulated plans for entering the Ivy league university of their choice. I had trouble deciding courses, and still don’t know what branch of study I would focus on, much less the university I would pick as my home for several, educating years.

Dance, school, work, the future. It all feels both so close and far away at the same time. Flurries continue to fall on Toronto leaving behind a fresh, new layer of white covering the rooftops, tree branches, and lawns of the neighbourhood. I see the clean, blank, white sheet the way I see my future. There are no expectations, self-help directions, or hints of the season to come. But there is every opportunity and chance, you just have to find them underneath all the fluff.
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In the end, the future will always be unknown and we will always be waiting for the next surprise that life will dish out, so we might as well enjoy every moment for what it’s worth and forget to dwell on anticipated events determined by external forces. Life unravels as it wants, and sometimes we gotta just hang on, grab a buddy, and go with the flow.

After all, “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift, that’s why it’s called the present.”

(If you know the origin of this famous quote, do not hesitate to let me know in the comments 🙂

Thanks for reading this madness.
Have a nice day,
thebookybunhead

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2013, Let’s Go: Some holiday afterthoughts

It’s January, the awkward month of transition between celebrating and lounging around to getting back on your feet to catch up with a schedule again. When the long awaited winter wonderland of snow  goes from this:

Here we go again

To this:

Ah, the beauty of city snow. Maybe part of it is psychological as there is not much to look forward to anymore – just the rest of the long,  not-so-cold-but-wet winter up ahead. I miss the holiday music playing on the radio, bustling streets full of people searching for goodies, and just all the smiles of having time to spend the way we wanted. This year, we were lucky to visit Ottawa and had a great time visiting family and friends. I suppose the ending of the season makes it that much more special. Until next year, it is currently still a time of reminiscence for me:

A Charlie Brown Christmas

On a bright note, we survived the apocalypse – despite the scary coincidence of New York flooding just like in the movie 2012 – and society can continue stumbling along trying to find the meaning of life. Part of my New Year’s resolution is to blog every other day… starting today.

It is good to go back to school, dance, and be back with friends but I cannot say that I have the same enjoyment for deadlines and assignments yet. There’s something satisfying about getting back to being active and productive, our minds, bodies, and tummies just can’t handle it yet.

The rhythm will come back soon I’m sure, and in the mean time, do the world a favour and wear some bright colours to cheer up the grey of post-holiday depression. Happy weekend and belated New Year!

-thebookybunhead

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Production blockage 101

Unfortunately, it is my current status and a much too common phrase in my life. Despite many resolutions and and self-created incentives, my id has firmly chosen a life motto for me:

Yes, I am minute management challenged and deadline deficient. To be fair, I must say this year has gone much better than any previous; I have successfully stuck myself to a chair and my mind to assignments to be punctual for the judgment of each of my work. Distractions everywhere, and yup, the temptation is definitely there to pursue hobbies before academic duties. It is like my own personal scene of angel and devil on my shoulders unfolds as there are so many other activities I would rather be doing on the weekend, or worse, after and exhausting day such as today, getting home from school at 9 at night. Everything from books to music to websites screams out:

https://i0.wp.com/media-cache-ec2.pinterest.com/upload/121175046194302951_yfHVWe2a.jpg
Recognizing this detour on the path to relief and satisfaction is definitely the first step. Alas, the moment I set my eyes on the goal on starting something is only half the battle. Because as I’m working, my super-ego keeps scaring the bejeezus out of my spontaneous thoughts with:

Perfectionism.

Not saying striving for the best is a bad thing, but I can definitely categorize perfectionism as a form of self-abuse. Seems to be a common disease in dancers, but that’s a different story. This pressure is so daunting that it stops my train of thought in its tracks. Literally. I just stop planning, writing, editing, whatever. Because I figure, if it’s not going to be perfect, what’s the point?
If distractions in this increasingly media addicted world isn’t bad enough:

homework! what homework?

how about distractions inside your head because you don’t want to finish something since it will never be finished the way you want it to be? No picture for that one. It is a vicious cycle and the only way to break it is to crave the opposite: being on time, or even better, being early. Honestly, the day I discovered how much pointless time I spent worrying on procrastinating, therefore ending up completely avoiding the task completely, was the day I finished my first essay within the first few days it was assigned. Got it, it’s fresh, work, done. There’s nothing like the rush of a panicked “WHAT ASSIGNMENT?!” when a due date is pointed out and you finally realize, “Oh, I finished that weeks ago!” Great feeling.

It is so refreshing to change such a stressful pattern, and just one success in time management gets you on a roll for the better. That being said, getting out of a funk as they call it can be hard especially when it is a challenge to just do what you have to do. I don’t want to add hypocrite to my list, so now’s a good time to crack down and take my own advice…

To our perfectly capable brains,
Study buddies hang tight!

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Am I crazy? A confused and spontaneous introspection

What’s with the teen vocabulary of party = alcohol? Why has drinking become the main attractions to young people in a party? Why does this illegal activity have to be involved in an event to make it fun? Call me a party pooper, but I’ve never really understood why. Or rather, what for.

It seems to me that teens feel the need to live up to a certain image: to live “young, and wild, and free” and flaunt an “I-can-do-what-I-want-and-I-don’t-care” attitude to prove independence. I blame the media for creating the accepted rebellious teen that apparently everyone wants to be nowadays.

Now I’m not trying to be self-righteous or condemning; I can see the appeal in such condiments, but shouldn’t the purpose of drinking be to enjoy it, not to get drunk? Besides, most of it is not the best tasting thing in the world and who enjoys a hangover?

In addition to the scary physical effects (I cannot imagine wanting to feel detached and unconscious of my existence), there is a reputation on the line when making these decisions. There is some sort of responsibility as a student or a family member to maintain a clean image, but most of all, we owe it to ourselves. Of course, nobody wants authorities to find out and place punishment, but of a bigger concern, nobody want to be disrespected or gossiped about. It becomes a question of identity…

Abstract Fluid Painting 58 ...by Mark Chadwick

This is another point: I find that most people feel some sort of guilt for what they know they weren’t supposed to be doing. Instead of the initial intents to be empowering, these actions are just harmful. Teens must justify their reasoning and feel under judgment of others when in truth they are really judging themselves. They care about what the world says or thinks about them because there is something bugging their own conscience. It is what happens when teens change themselves to fit a persona that goes against their values or their own identity. Don’t let society or others influence your personal choices and surround yourselves with good people, because “those that mind don’t matter, and those that don’t mind matter.”

If you’re being true to yourself and it isn’t enough for the people around you, change the people around you. by deeplifequotes, via Flickr

Then again, what do I know? I just think that all this paranoia, stress, and side effects cannot be healthy emotionally or physically, or even fun. If you really, really, truly are happy doing this stuff, by all means go ahead and live your life. And if you are the kind left feeling unsatisfied with yourself after drinking and whatnot, remember you can choose to party without the recommended extras. Whatever your choice, you will have friends, it is a matter of whether you will continue being your own best friend.

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Honestly, there are tons of ways to enjoy life and fun while remembering the moments you shared with friends. And even though we all love teen power and defiance, really, what is a couple years wait?

Party in the moment as yourself.
thebookybunhead

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Interest on a cellular level

BiologyBiology.Biology.

What is life, where did we come from? The ongoing search for the origin of humans offers so many enlightening answers and even more challenging questions to students – questions about the essence of life and our very existence. It is the story behind human history; everything from ancient Egyptian and Greek, medieval to monarchies to war times – it all happened in such a short period of time, relatively, to the billions of years of accumulated diversity since Earth was formed.

So many people want to go into science, to become a doctor; it’s a concept taught to us at a young age for a good, secure future. But I think it is hard to continue on any study that you are not truly passionate about: the effort required to pursue the study of biological sciences as we have learned is tedious and,

because after reading or watching a bit into the subject, it is very hard not to become fascinated in the discoveries of humans, our species, ourselves, as I have this year.

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